I have been a working parent now for roughly a year and a half. It has been a strange change from my usual routine of getting my children to school and just coming home again, but the changes have been both enjoyable and also complex.
One of the few things I didn’t expect as a working parent is was the guilt that came from working during the school holidays. Thankfully I have an amazing support network who has helped me all through my transition from stay at home to working but as their legal and biological parent its just something that has stung me hard.
During my first year of working I struggled to get any time off during the summer, I did manage to get a few days off here and there and relied a lot on my days off. but the pang of not having much needed time off with my children hurt, However the time that I did have spare I used up and enjoyed it so much. Given that also I share time with the children with their dad, it did feel like I wasn’t seeing them as much as I hoped.
This guilt I felt runs deep, I feel it most days when I’m sat at my desk, more so when it’s the holidays and they’re being watched by their nan, Who while I’m very grateful for her help and support it’s not her job to do. I continue to remind myself while they’re not with me that I’m doing something good and that I really shouldn’t feel guilty. But of course better said than done!
The one main thing that has been the biggest pro with working is the extra money that started coming in, while I still rely heavily on universal credit and having that help there is something that i am extremely grateful for but also finally earning for myself has been the independence that I was lacking in my life and thanks to that I have gained confidence I myself as a person.
For my job I work in an office where I take calls, a call centre for sure and I am often the first point of contact with a lot of the customers who use the services, but going from someone who absolutely hates making a call to having to take sometimes over 50 a day as truly changed me, and sometimes I even help people who are so grateful when I do.
Before I worked I was made to feel worthless because I chose to be the stay at home parent for 13 long years, which in turn crippled me with the lack of actual work experience; I applied for many jobs over the 2 years of my youngest going to primary school, which I’d like to point out was my plan all along, and to be met with only 2 interviews was soul destroying.
But here I am proudly employed for almost 2 years, earning to support my children and learning new things every day I’m at work.
And what’s also important is that my children are also proud of me.. and that’s all that truly matters.
Sarah
x
Leave a Reply